A good friendship is like a fine wine – it only gets better with time. This is why building stronger friendships is so important.
But, maintaining friendships and even making new ones after you turn 40 is a lot more difficult. After all, our lives get a lot busier, and one responsibility piles up on another. Before you know it, meeting new people feels a whole lot more complicated than it did in our 20s.
Yet, meaningful connections are definitely worth the effort. Having good friends is great for our hearts, minds, and well-being. Whether you’re looking for a way to strengthen your existing bonds, or even make new ones, let’s take a look at the tools you need to cultivate more fulfilling friendships at any stage in your life.
Building Stronger Friendships Requires Evolving
When we were younger, friendships were often formed out of convenience. Perhaps we shared a class together. Or maybe we were in the same dorm. Or, sometimes our friends are people that we met in our first jobs. But, by the time you hit your 40s, life is vastly different. By this point in your life, you are juggling family, work, and personal goals. As a result, you have very little time to focus on relationships with your friends.
However, the quality of your friendships matters more now than they ever did. By having deep, meaningful connections with others, you can boost your immune system, reduce your stress levels, and even increase your lifespan. Yes, science says that having good friends can help you live a longer more fulfilling life.
So, although the nature of friendships changes as we get older, their importance does not. In fact, friendship becomes even more essential for our emotional well-being as we reach our 40s, 50s, and beyond.
Challenges of Maintaining and Building Stronger Friendships After 40
For most, keeping old friends and making new ones feels like an impossible task. It’s not simply your imagination. As we age, we face many challenges that prevent us from making new friendships, and even maintaining our existing ones.
Busy Schedules and Family Responsibilities
For starters, our schedules become very busy and our responsibilities keep piling up. Between the countless work deadlines, our kids’ dance recitals and soccer practices, and trying to sneak in a workout from time to time, there is very little time left for socializing. And, when time does eventually free up a bit, most of us just crash on the couch instead of meeting up with old friends.
Geographic Barriers and Building Stroger Friendships
Then there is the issue with geographic barriers. When you were younger, your best friend lived just down the street. As life continued on, our friends moved away for jobs, family, or other opportunities in their lives. And, over the years, we have found that maintaining long-distance relationships require sometimes too much effort.
The Social Media Trap
For years, I have tried to maintain a good relationship with my best friends from high school. We were friends on Facebook for almost half of a decade. But, we rarely talked. And, eventually, I simply unfriended them. It seemed like we just didn’t have anything else in common anymore. Now I live on the other side of the planet, where everything seems alien to me.
This is known as the social media trap. At first, it feels like we’re connected with our friends because we are able to see their updates and photos. But, whatever happened to heartfelt conversations? Real connections take more than simple likes and emojis. Think back to that big road trip that you had with your friends, you can’t do that on Facebook, now can you?
Strategies for Building Stronger Friendships
So, how do you actually make friendships thrive in such a busy modern world? Let’s take a look at some practical strategies that will help you strengthen your friendships.
Prioritizing Quality Over Quantity
Start by prioritizing quality over quantity. When we were in our 20s, it was all about being part of a huge social circle. We had maybe a few really good friends, and the rest were merely acquaintances. Sometimes we met up with them at the track, or when we headed out for a night on the town. But are really good friends were the ones that we could always pick up the phone and call, knowing they would answer.
Take the time to reflect on your current relationships, and determine who actually brings you joy. Ask yourself, which when your friends still challenges you in a positive way. And, you should focus your energy on those connections instead of spreading yourself, and your social life, way too thin. Remember, there is nothing wrong with letting go of a relationship that no longer serves your interests. And, it’s not about burning bridges, but simply recognizing that some friendships eventually fade away.
Building Stronger Friendships and Effective Communication
Effective communication is key to any strong relationship. But, communication isn’t just about being able to talk. It’s about knowing when to listen. Remember, in order to keep a strong relationship, you also need to serve their interests as well.
Active Listening
Focus on active listening. When your friend shares something, give them your full attention. Stop looking at your phone, and maintain eye contact with them. Ask them thoughtful questions. And, show them that you are actually listening to what they have to say.
Express Appreciation
Don’t forget to express your appreciation. Telling them that you appreciate them being in there is very powerful. Letting them know that you value their relationship can mean the world to them. And, these simple little moments of gratitude can help deepen your bonds.
Shared Activities
In order to better strengthen any relationship, you have to do things together. Shared activities is a great way to build friendships. Whether it is trying a new hobby, planning a weekend trip into the country, or volunteering for something that both of you care about, these shared experiences create lasting memories. Best of all is that these are a great way to break out of your rut and try something new
Resolving Conflicts Gracefully
Let’s face it, no friendship can exist without some form of pickup along the way. The way that you handle these conflicts can make all of the difference. Just like marriage, you need to resolve conflicts with your friends in a graceful manner. Here are some tips to help you:
- Use Empathy
- Be Open and Honest
- Speak Your Truth without Blaming
- Don’t Forget to Apologize
Meeting New Friends in Midlife
If you are like me, then chances are you no longer have any connections to your childhood friends. This means that you will need to meet all new friends in your midlife. And, making new friends is an adult can be very difficult for most. But, with the right mindset and approach it is something that is completely possible.
Joining Community Groups
One of the easiest ways to meet new friends in your midlife is to join various community groups. If you love to read, then why not sign up for a book club? You will find like-minded individuals who also love to read. Or, if you’re into photography, why not meet up with other photographers from time to time? It doesn’t matter if it’s yoga, poetry, pottery, or hiking, having sharing activities is a natural way to connect with other people.
Leveraging Digital Platforms
And yes, you can still use digital platforms like Facebook for building stronger friendships. I bet you didn’t even know that you could search on Facebook for book clubs and find an online group in your local area. Of course, social media isn’t a substitute for true, real-life connections, but it’s a great way to meet new people.
Pro Tip
Never be afraid to make the first move. When you find someone that you click with, suggest grabbing a coffee or attending a like-minded event together.
Building Stronger Friendships And Enjoying Life Over 40
Remember, having a true friendship is one of the greatest treasures in your life. And, your friends are worth the time and energy it takes to keep them. So, regardless of whether you are rekindling old connections or forging new ones, it’s never too late to build meaningful relationships in your life. Start out small, by reaching out to an old friend, joining a local group, or simply planning a coffee date.
